The Extraordinaire

Is this normal?

Is it normal to become annoyed by everyone I associate with? Just asking, it has been happening more often. I want to complain. That’s all I do anymore! I always hold back what I want to say to people. I come off as a nice person who never gets mad (or so I’m told!). I try to be nice. Sorry guys, just don’t be annoying and I’ll be nice. ;) C’mon I have a reputation to keep up. 

Cheesy is my specialty.

If I was single, and a guy came up to me in a bar saying any cheesy pick-up line, I probably ask HIM on a date. They just make me giggle! The sexual ones are funny, but not smooth.

“It’s a good thing I have my library card. Why? Because I’m checking you out!”

“Hi, I’m Mr. Right-I heard you were looking for me.” How smooth does that sound?!

I don’t know, I guess my humor is weird. I also love love looove puns. I genuinely laugh at every pun I hear, no matter how long it takes me to get it.

Go ahead punk, Make. Me. Laugh. :D

Annoying Dad #2

Hmm, yes yes. This is a special edition of “Stubborn & Annoying Dad”.

My father is probably the most stubborn person you shall ever encounter. SO! Here are the stories:

1. When I don’t cook dinner, my dad usually attempts to. Whether or not he is grilling, baking, frying, or God damned microwaving, he doesn’t cook the meat all the way. I don’t understand. Even when it is precooked fish with directions, he finds a way to mess it up. That’s not even the worst part. He eats whatever he cooks, without admitting that it is undercooked. WAY undercooked. No matter how much the meat is profusely bleeding. He gets angry when we say, “um… this is just straight up raw. I’m putting it back in the oven.” So in the end, I end up cooking the meat either way.
2. Daddy works at a factory as Maintenance. I understand he works really hard to earn us some money, and I love him for that! Except he’s not the safest guy around… He smashes his finger, throws his back out, or gets a bunch of gashes every week. All of his injuries look serious. When I even mention the word “Doctor” he gets defensive. “I’m fine, KC. It’s just a scratch.” uh huh, okay. Tell me that when it’s infected.
3. Stubborn Daddy won’t let anything go. Down right refuses to lose an argument. Even if it’s about something my sister is majoring in… okay. Don’t argue with him, it’s no use.

I admit I do inherit some stubbornness from my ol’ man.

PUPPIES are the key to happiness.

I am a girl. I like crying for absolutely no reason for two hours straight. There are reasons, actually. I cry for all of those people who can’t cry out there. For all of them who are too strong to. People make me sad. I wish I could make everybody happy!

But since I cannot, why don’t you let these little guys cheer you up?

They cheer me up! Seriously, any time I’m sad, I just Google puppies or babies and I’m chipper! :)

Annoying Dad #1

I’m starting a series of things that my dad does that I find annoying, yet funny.

This is how it usually goes down:

It’s a disgustingly humid summer morning, and it is about 9:00 am. I get up and do my morning shit. I walk into the kitchen to prepare breakfast. After it is done, I contemplate whether or not to wake my dad up. I run quickly towards his door with my hand lingering on the door knob, then I flee quickly. “Maybe I should let him wake up on his own.” I think to myself. If it were up to him, he would sleep 23 hours and 55 minutes out of the day.

I creep towards his door and open it loudly, hoping he would wake the hell up. Nope, still snoring. I roll my eyes and whisper, “Daddyyyyyy. Daddy?” with hesitation. Every time I wake him up, he screams, yells, and snorts usually saying, “WAHHHHH! WHERE AM I?!” He has been doing this for as long as I can remember, and as a little girl, I’ve been so afraid to wake him up. The fear has stuck with him throughout my life. So sad, I know.